


Blind Faith.

by Lazy_Adventurer



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drunk Lena Luthor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Lena Luther deserves better, Lena Luthor Doesn't Know Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, POV Lena Luthor, Pre-Relationship, this is what I pretended actually happened after that scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-02-01 14:57:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12707268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy_Adventurer/pseuds/Lazy_Adventurer
Summary: Mate I'm just so mad Lena didn't get a hug while she was drunk and I get that she was upset and didn't want comfort because she felt like she didn't deserve it so I wrote what I'm pretending happened after that scene ended and how she got comfort regardless.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If I have time I might write about how the episode should have ended for Lena and Kara (aka really gay) and add it to this.

          She’s drunk. She knows she’s drunk. That’s why the words keep spilling out of her and she can’t stop them. Not that she cares anymore. She always wished she would die after she said something stupid and after today's events it looks like that wish might just come true.

          Lena almost thinks it’s sad that the woman missed her when she shot at her. Almost. The only thing stopping her from going out into a dark alleyway, near the hospital, so some parent can get their lucky shot, is standing right beside her.

          Kara. Kara has always made Lena feel like maybe her life wasn’t a complete mess and that maybe, just maybe, she could be known for something good and not for her family.

          That’s why she was trying so hard to push her away. If Kara finally gave up on her she could accept her faith. Accept that she would end like all Luthers do. But Kara is so stubborn and see’s the good in everyone and it’s something Lena loves about her, she even told her so, but Lena is going to hurt her if she keeps trying to see the good in her. So she continues to push her away and it’s so hard that she even breaks a little more than she thought she could, and she tries her hardest not to cry, hiding the tears behind her glass as she drinks.

         

          “I’m not worth it,” Lena says, hoping to end the conversation there before she makes an even bigger mess and embarrassment of herself.

 

          There’s silence for a few minutes and Lena thinks she’s finally done it. She finally convinced the last person on earth who believed in her, that she’s not worth that faith. She downs the last of her glass and turns to Kara hoping she’ll be able to politely ask her to leave before she breaks and she can’t stop the tears anymore.

          She expects to see Kara’s stern expression, or maybe just a hint of sadness. What she doesn’t expect is to see tears rolling down Kara’s cheek and her shoulders shaking. She doesn’t expect to see Kara looking as broken as she feels and it breaks any resolve she had left in her and she begins to cry, loud sobs coming out, tears rolling down her cheek to her chin.

          She cries hard and loud and she squeezes her eyes shut, praying to god that this pain just stops. She turns away from Kara because she doesn’t want her to see her like this. She hopes that Kara just leaves, but she doesn’t. Deep down Lena knows Kara would never leave her like this. Lena feels a hand on her shoulder and a quiet but broken, “Lena?”

          Lena wants so desperately to answer her. To hug her and pretend that everything is going to be ok. But she can’t. She can’t let herself have hope because if she does, it’ll kill her when that hope is taken away from her. And it will hurt even more if the hope comes from Kara. So she pulls away from her hand, getting up from the chair, not opening her eyes, but she still so drunk and she moved too fast and she feels herself stumble and fall, but she doesn’t hit the ground. She feels Kara’s arms around her and even in her drunken state she wonders how Kara manages to catch her so fast.

          She keeps her eyes closed and takes a deep breath. She’s trying to think of something to say when Kara beats her to it.

 

          “You are worth the world, Lena.”

 

          Lena’s too tired to fight this again so she just shakes her head. Kara clearly doesn’t accept this answer, because Lena feels Kara cup her jaw and move her head towards her, before softly saying, “Lena, look at me.”

 

          Slowly Lena opens her eyes and all she can see is Kara’s face. She’s staring at her, eyes full of concern and tears.

 

          “Lena, I love you and I believe in you and I am never, ever going to stop fighting for you. I will spend to rest of my life proving to people that you are good.”

 

          Lena feels more tears come to her eyes, particularly when Kara says she loves her, but she can’t. She can’t ask that of Kara. So she swallows hard before pulling away from her and answering.

 

          “No… Just… Stop. Stop having blind faith in me. You’re only going to hurt yourself and you don’t deserve that. Find someone else to believe in. For goodness sake you are friends with Supergirl, if anyone deserves blind faith it’s her, not me!”

 

          “Lena I-”

 

          “No! Enough. Please-” Lena feels herself start to choke up a bit again. “-if you really want to help then stop doing this because it is hurting me.”

 

          “Lena, you know that not what I’m trying to do?”

 

          “Then if you don’t want to do it anymore, leave.”

 

          “No.”

 

          “Yes.”

 

          “No. I am not leaving you here, alone. It’s… It’s not safe.”

 

          “It’s perfectly safe Kara, no one knows I’m here.”

 

          “You don’t know that.”

 

          “I-”

 

          “No. Don’t even try to defend this. I’m staying and that’s final.”

 

          Lena huffs before saying, “Fine. But I’m not talking to you.”

 

          Kara looks hurt, so just nods her head. Lena then walks away from her and towards the couch, leaving Kara at the counter. She sits down at and after a few silent minutes, she thinks she hears Kara take out her laptop and start typing. Lena intends to just sit there, doing nothing but thinking about all the mistakes she’s ever made, but before she knows it she’s asleep.

 

         She wakes up briefly to the sound of someone walking in front of her. She feels her head being lifted and a pillow being put under her head. She then feels the lightest kiss on her forehead and she thinks she hears someone mumble, “I still believe in you,” before sleep takes hold of her again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after I assume the plane was safely put somewhere but before Lena is back at Sam's place.

          Lena was alone by the remains of the plane that she had nearly died on. Well, not completely alone. Technically she was surrounded by dozens of agents claiming to be FBI, however something about them seemed like they weren't quite telling the truth, but Supergirl reassured her they were who they said they were.

          Alex, Kara's sister, was with them. She was the first on the scene, not ten minutes after Supergirl had landed them both safely on the ground. When they were on the ground, Supergirl was reluctant to let go of Lena's hand, she could tell from the way she tried to reach back out to Lena after she had pulled away. Although Lena couldn't figure out why they had never been particularly close.

          All Lena wanted to do was go and find Morgan Edge and actually use her gun on him this time, but she didn't say this out loud. She did try to get Supergirl to go get him while she still could, but she told Lena that they needed to say put and wait for her people to show up and deal with the chemicals. Lena had to agree that was probably a smarter plan as leaving the chemicals unattended could lead to more problems.

          So she stayed there silently waiting. Supergirl asking her if she was sure she was ok, being the only thing to break the silence. Eventually, Alex showed up and after she and Supergirl had a private chat Supergirl came up to Lena and said that she was going off to sort out Morgan Edge. Lena asked to go with her but Supergirl said that after everything that happened she'd feel better keeping him away from her. Lena protested but to no avail.

          Supergirl flew off but not before giving Lena a sad look. Lena stood alone for a few minutes while agents were running around the place trying to clean up the plane crash. Soon though Alex came up to her saying she needed a statement from her. As tired as she was Lena agreed to it.

          Lena spoke with Alex for nearly a half hour telling her everything. Well, everything apart from her having a gun. After Alex offered her a lift back home. Lena accepted but requested to be brought to CatCo instead of home. Alex didn't look happy about the request but drove her there anyway. The car ride was quick but filled with silence.

          At CatCo Lena unexpectedly ran into James. She had been just wrapping up a few loose ends there and didn't expect to see anyone else there at such a late hour. She took the opportunity to thank him for taking a bullet for her before deciding that she should probably go back to Sam and Kara and tell them what happened.

          She was outside CatCo about to call for a taxi when she looked up from her phone and saw Kara in front of her, eyes red and puffy like she had been crying.

 

          “Kara?” Lena stared at her, unsure if Kara had been crying out of fear, sadness or anger.

 

          “Why, Lena? Why would you just leave and risk yourself like that?” Kara's voice was filled with concern, which was not at all what Lena expected.

 

          “I- it- I thought it was the right thing to do...” Up until this moment Lena really thought it was, but seeing Kara so upset like this made her doubt it. “How do you know already?”

 

          “I- Supergirl told me!” Kara sounds like she's lying but Lena knows better than to question that at this moment.

 

          “Kara I'm... I'm sorry. For not telling you. But I knew if I told you you'd want to come and I couldn't risk you getting caught in the crossfire. This is between me and Morgan.”

 

          “I don't care. If you had told me you knew where the chemicals were from I could have got Supergirl to help! She could have gone after him and then you wouldn't have been hurt!”

 

          “You don't get it, Kara!” They were both yelling now.

 

          “What don't I get?!”

 

          “I wanted to hurt him, Kara! I had a gun and I was going to kill him! That's why I didn't want you there!”

 

          Silence surrounds them as the words sink in. Lena's very thankful that at this late hour there is no one around to hear what she just yelled. She stares at Kara waiting for a response. After a moment Kara just shakes her head.

 

         “You wouldn't have.” Kara simply says.

 

         “What? I had a gun Kara!” Lena is annoyed that Kara is doubting her on this and all Kara does is shrug at her.

 

          “I know you, Lena. You wouldn't have pulled the trigger.”

 

          “I had it pointed at him!”

 

          “But did you shot him?”

 

          “No, but-”

 

          “See I told you, you wouldn't.”

 

          “He hit me over the head before I could!”

 

          “Lena if you were really going to kill him you would have shot him straight off.”

 

          “I had to tell him why first!”

 

          “Oh so you had an evil monologue, did you? That's very dramatic of you isn't it?”

 

          Lena wants to be mad, to yell and scream. To prove that she was going to do it. She opens her mouth to retort but all that comes out is a laugh. She can't help it. The two of them are outside arguing over whether or not Lena is evil enough to kill a man. It's such an absurd situation. Even Kara seems to see the humour in it as she begins laughing with Lena.

 

          They laugh for a full minute before Kara says, “Come here,” and wraps Lena up in a big hug. Lena returns it and finds that the tears from laughter have now changed to tears of regret.

 

          “I'm so sorry,” Lena says in a low voice.

 

          “It's ok. But please don't go putting yourself in danger again.” Kara matches her low tone.

 

          “I can't promise anything. I am a Luthor after all.” This gets a small chuckle out of Kara.

 

          Lena pulls away but Kara holds onto her hands, keeping her close. Lena can see on her face that she has something else she wants to say.

 

          “What is it?” Lena gently asks.

 

          “Em... well... Supergirl told me something about when she saved you...”

 

          Lena furrows her brows trying to recall what Kara might be talking about. “What is it?”

 

          “She told me... that when the plane broke in half, you were in one end and the chemicals were in the other. She told me that you told her... to leave you.” Kara can't seem to look her in the eye as she says this.

 

          “Well, it was the obvious choice. If those chemicals got into the water-”

 

          “I don't care about that.”

 

          “Kara people's lives were at risk.”

 

          “And we would have found a way to fix it. You would of.”

 

          “Look it doesn't matter she saved the chemicals as well as me so it all worked out.”

 

          “It does matter!” Kara stares at Lena intensely.

 

          “Kara I know you care but the chemicals were more important.”

 

          “Nothing is more important then you Lena! Your life isn't worth any less than anyone else.”

 

          “In that situation it was!”

 

          “Don't say that. You matter. You matter so much. Especially to me!”

 

          Lena can't respond to that. She's had a growing crush on Kara for a while now and the emotions of the day are getting to her and she's worried if she tries to respond she might say something she'll regret.

          She wants to pull away from Kara, who hadn't let go of her hands yet. Holding onto Lena in an attempt to keep her close so emphasise her point. But the closeness was beginning to overwhelm Lena. She watched Kara, and she saw her eyes flicker downwards towards her lips then back up to her eyes. Lena felt frozen.

          She felt Kara let go of one of her hands and saw it come up to push a stray hair away from her face. Instead of pulling away though, Kara put her hand on the back of Lena's neck and leaned in. Lena couldn't stop herself from meeting her halfway even if she wanted to. The kiss was short but sweet and when Kara pulled away it was only enough so they could lean their foreheads together.

 

          “Do you get why I care now?” Kara asks. All Lena can do is a nod in response. “Come on Sam is waiting for us back at her place.” Kara pulls away fully but stays holding onto Lena's hand.

 

          Kara gets them a taxi and they head to Sam's in silence. They get out but before they can head to Sam's door Kara stops them.

 

          “You are telling her everything. Understood?” Kara gives her a stern look.

 

          “Ok. But are you sure you want me to tell her about that kiss?” Lena grins at the slight blush that comes up on Kara's cheeks when she says that.

 

          “Ok, maybe you can leave out that part. That was just for me.”

 

          “Ok, but for the record-” Lena leans over to kiss Kara who gasps slightly into the kiss “-that was just for me too.”

 

          Kara goes even redder before composing herself and walking them up to Sams door. This night had ended a lot better then Lena imagined it would.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait, life got in the way and I realise there have been a good few episodes since this one but fuck it. Hope you enjoy and forgive me for taking so long. Also, I know that after this, when Kara is with Sam she calls Lena her "sister" so I'm just gonna pretend that she got flustered after saying she loved Lena and tried to cover it up but just made it worse by saying they were like sisters. <3 Xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> I've had 3 separate friends cry to me about 3 separate boys in the past week so my week has been sad and straight so I decided to write about something sad but gay.


End file.
